Book review: For love of the broken body, by Sr. Julia Walsh

By Anna Riley
Pax Christi Young Adult Caucus

For love of the broken body is a memoir written by Sr. Julia Walsh, a Franciscan Sister of Perpetual Adoration.

My approach for this book review is the perspective of a young adult woman who has been on a journey dissecting her faith, finding what fits, and has been trying to get rid of the nagging interest in religious life. Sr. Julia’s book spoke bluntly and humorously about the process of discerning how she is called to help a hurting world and her difficulty with holding onto a faith that has caused harm. As a young Catholic peacemaker, this book was just what I needed to normalize where I am in my faith journey and give me strength to move forward. 

 My experience discerning religious life has not reached beyond discernment retreats, and yet I still related with questions Julia was asking when she was discerning. One of her reflections on marriage resonated with me deeply: “I could never get married because that means buying a house and settling down.” I see discernment as a decision of life paths, rather than a booming call from God. For example, if someone naturally likes to have constant change in their life, then religious life might logistically make more sense because of the freedom from parental responsibilities. As I am reflecting on the level of involvement I would like to have in the peace movement, it is exciting to think about the ability to fully immerse myself in communities that are suffering without time constraints. 

Another dilemma that came up in Sr. Julia’s discernment was her love for other people. Her description of the crushes that she had while discerning had me bursting out laughing multiple times. It is very easy for me to get a wave of anxiety whenever a crush comes up, as if I expect God to just shut off my desires if I’m called to religious life. At one point in her journey she came to the acceptance that she will inevitably fall in love with multiple people. This was comforting, yet upsetting to hear. It is very hard to imagine that God would be able to fill the desire to be intensely loved and known. 

I greatly appreciated Sr. Julia’s raw discussions on her difficulties with staying in the Catholic Church. She reflected on the harm done through the church, and even wrote that if it wasn’t for her interest in religious life, she would have left. I felt very heard once I read that. I question whether I would have left faith completely if it was not for my interest in religious life. I am grateful that this discernment process has encouraged me to dive deeper into progressive Catholic theology and make a smoother transition between doubt and faith than what it could have been. Sr. Julia’s vulnerability was a reminder that someone’s vocation does not place them in a bubble that protects them from doubt. 

One thing that was fueling the doubt was the hypocrisy that she was seeing by having a vow to poverty, yet having a completely different life than the people she was serving. She expressed confusion as to why she was living in a place as gorgeous as her convent, yet there were so many people without homes. She felt that she was living out her calling more when she lived in a service house with peers prior to the convent. As a peacemaker, this is something that I reflect on when I get involved in different justice efforts. I feel a sense of imposter syndrome and wonder whether it is my place to serve a community with an experience that I will never know. Julia’s words brought me a sense of comfort that I was not alone in those thoughts. 

Another theme of her spiritual distress was survivor’s guilt. After surviving a devastating accident at the beginning of her novitiate with her community of Franciscan sisters, she had many questions about whether she would have survived if she had been in a different country, and said that the answer to this would break her faith. That comment hit me like a brick. Working for peace in the world means consistently putting myself in a position where my faith could be wrecked. It is very hard to look at the world and question whether God wants some people saved and others not. Thankfully, other people in the Church have thought this too and have written beautiful theology about how to wrestle with this. God loves us all and will make everything right. All we can do now is put the work in to make peace.

Sr. Julia’s  book leads us to reflect on how we want to make peace. Her journey gives us insight on how we can find a balance between grieving for those who may not have have our privileges and being productive in using our advantages to help others. She shows that this process of peacebuilding is not perfect, and discerning how we’re called to contribute can be quite messy and chaotic. I recommend this book to anyone who is ready to hear from a sister who is not afraid to be real. It might actually save your faith.

For love of the broken body: A spiritual memoir, by Sr. Julia Walsh
Monkfish Publishing, 2024
256 pages, ISBN 9781958972274

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Anna Riley (she/her), from Indianapolis, IN, hopes to contribute to peacebuilding through languages. She is currently perfecting her Spanish, and newly learning Haitian Creole and Hindi so that she can help members of the immigrant community in Indianapolis feel more at home. Her work at a cemetery helping families find peace and decide how they want to memorialize their loved ones has given her a stronger devotion to the communion of saints. She also drives for Lyft part time and has plenty of funny stories to share. When she is not working or learning languages, she enjoys photography.